ALL TONY’S LAWS
I see henchmen prowling around villages
opposite a football pitch. They’re an
eyesore in the dark and aren’t allowed
to kill foxes, which you thought were harmless.
New laws erode the years. You may not
in your own home tamper with your greyhound
or have unprotected jokes. Lesbians,
Muslims and foxes will be allowed,
you will be banned from owning a Bible
and sherry trifle will be covered
by legislation. Idiots.
I’ll carry on driving and thinking
and all the wiring in my kitchen will break
social taboos with impunity.
from In The World: The Clarkson Poems
Sourced from And Another Thing: The World According to Clarkson Volume 2